Insomniac!

4am. Awake.  Thinking.  Watching paid programming.  Jack, our nephew is staying over so Graydon is sleeping with us.  Still thinking about David and our trust issues.  I am more focused on how I retain my self confidence and move forward from my mistakes- ME.  Not David.  I am still concerned about my relationship with David, but the reason I got in trouble in the first place was how I felt others perceived me.  I am not perfect, but I will do my best.  I will do my best.  Is my best good enough?  Depression for me is that I am not perfect and that I should be.  Perfect Mom, Perfect Wife, Perfect Sister, Perfect Daughter, Perfect Housekeeper.  Like my therapist says, I like to hit myself over the head with a rubber hammer over and over again.  It's a hard habit to break.